There is a season

3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
3:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3:3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
3:5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
3:6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
3:7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
3:8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

There is so much depth to these Ecclesiastes verses.  I really do believe in the old cliche, "everything happens for a reason."  I just happen to also believe that we can go a lifetime before we know sometimes what those reasons are.  Life does have seasons and I believe these seasons have a purpose decreed by God -- i.e., there is a time and a season to every purpose under heaven.  


I'm having a hard time understanding the reasons and the seasons lately.  I've been to the funeral home 3 times in one month and witnessed grief at the highest level imaginable in seeing friends bury their 24 year old child.  The tears, sobbing, hugs and prayers were palpable that day.  


I found this explanation on a web page and I felt it was so "real" in explaining the seasons.  
When times are good, that is the season of plenty and there is purpose in that. If you let Him, God will use your plenty for the benefit of you and others. In times like these it can be easy to serve God and thank Him for your good fortune. Conversely, but similarly, there is also purpose during bad times, or in other words during seasons of want. God also uses these times for the ultimate benefit of you and others, even though it may be hard for us to see or understand this while we’re in the midst of it. It’s important that we continue to serve and thank God during these times, knowing that this too shall pass into a new season.

So, regardless of the season of life you find yourself in today, remember that there is a purpose to this time in your life. 

With the approach of the holidays, I don't know that I have ever been more "thankful" for my family than I was on Thanksgiving Thursday last week.

 

"A" My Name Is Alice

Marie Osmond ~ A My Name Is Alice
A my name is Alice and my boyfriend's name is Andy,
We come from Alabama and we like apples.
A my name is Alice and I want to play the game of loooooove!

When I was a little girl my Daddy laid down on the floor with me and my orange 45 record player with the plug in microphone and crooned Donny and Marie Osmond songs until we were hoarse.  The above lyrics were my all time fave that we would sing together.  Never mind how the words might be the dumbest I have ever heard!  








My first concert was The Osmonds at The Omni...too bad I had to be taken out because it hurt my ears.  I made up for it a few decades later when I dragged my friend Brooke to see them in the flesh in Vegas!    

My family has never had any musical talent!  It never stopped us from using music in any form and fashion to have fun.  My next musical memory was my Dad laying down and holding me up with his feet while I held my arms out as he sang to me...."There she goes flying with ease, there goes my girl on the flying trapeze."  If we did it once, we did it a hundred times.  I could never get enough of it and he never seemed to tire of making me smile and laugh.  


Perhaps one day I'll share with you what Sweetie drinks are and how they are made and my nicknames, Do-bay and Sally Ann.  


In the meantime, Monday, November 29th, a man with one of the biggest hearts I know will be having his heart operated on - my Daddy!  Please kneel down every night and pray for his heart to be renewed.  He has a lot of love left to give.    

39 years with my Dad have been "The Best Days of My Life ."  I sure do love you Dad! 






  

The Letter "E"

"Frying chicken always makes me feel a little better about life." ~Kathryn Stockett (The Help)

The book, The Help, has had the largest impact on me than any novel I've ever read.  I smiled, I cried, I laughed and I mourned.....all because of the letter "E".  

MEET "E"

Risa, "E" and her husband, Bud Freeman at Nannie & Granddaddy's 

50th Wedding Anniversary Party in Forsyth

"E" was my Grandparent's maid for well over 50 years.  Legend has it that neither Greg or myself could pronounce the name Risa; therefore, it somehow came out as "E."  Every Birthday, Christmas, Halloween and Valentine card was always signed with quotation marks and the letter E.  It wasn't until several years into my elementary school education that I started to put two and two together and realized that my cards from "E" and from my Nannie and Granddaddy were signed in the same handwriting.  Hence, the raw truth had to be told to a little girl from her grandmother that her beloved "E" could not read or write.  The truth was, I didn't care one way or another.  I knew that I loved her and I knew that she loved me.  Her heart and soul was put into every dime of that ten dollar bill I received each year on my Birthday.  


Forsyth (my Mom's hometown) was steeped in traditions for Greg and me.  Prior to a visit, the first phone call from Nannie without fail said the same thing, "What do you want "E" to cook you for lunch?"  The same answer was given every time...."Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Biscuits, Chocolate Pudding and Sweet Tea."  I'll never be able to eat a piece of Fried Chicken again.  There are days my mouth waters thinking about the taste of that meal I had hundreds of times and never once complained about the frequency.  There was no place I would rather be as a kid than standing up on a chair proudly washing the dishes from lunch with "E".  She never had children and considered us and called us her "chillun", respectively, John and Sister.      

Washin' dishes with "E"....one of my favorite Forsyth past times

"E's" "chillun", John (Greg) and Sister (Natalie)

If I had to pick one thing that I loved about "E" the most is my world was one color with her.  I never knew anything different.  Our love was unconditional -- just like Baby Girl and Aibileen in The Help.  She helped me grow up.  I still have every single card and $2 dollar bill she gave me.  


On a work trip to China 7 years ago soon after the death of "E", I received a call from my Dad along with the shock of my life.  "E" had named me executor of her will along with leaving me a kind and meaningful gift.    


I'll leave you with one thought.....  


"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

Pay it forward.  

My Friend Kim

My friend Kim

She’s fun

She’s loud

She’s loyal

She’s caring

She’s a christian

She’s stronger than a tea bag steeped in hot water

She’s the best mom ever!

She’s obsessively organized

She’s the best planner I know

she loves the old family farm

she can turn a negative into a positive in a heartbeat! 

she's in my best memories of high school

She could give pottery barn a run for their money any day of the week in design

She owns stock in chardonnay with floating ice cubes

She’s non judgmental

She’s faithful

She’s a dr. pepper addict

She loves dr. Seuss

She still sleeps with the most loyal man she’ll ever know, her teddy bear, “ted”

She loves the beach

She’s sunshine on an otherwise rainy day

She’s helped me more in the past year than she will ever know!

I love you kim for being you including all of your idiosyncrasies.

Second Chances

I’ve lost my writeability!   Is that is even a word?  Letters used to multiply and wrap around each other on the page and they don’t do that anymore!  I have sat down time and again and tried to write on topics such as consequences for actions, 2^nd chances, forgiveness and the list goes on and on.  I think I have finally decided that I need to write but I need to write for me and me alone.  I don’t need to be fancy.  I need to be real and if real includes simplistic words and commas tossed here and there, then that’s okay. 

I’m no longer in school but I’m still learning.  I learn things everyday.  I’m learning new things in excel for work, I’m learning about the Jewish religion and lately and most important, I’m learning that people sometimes aren’t who you really think they are.       

ARE THERE SECOND CHANCES? 

Personally, I think that everyone deserves a 2^nd chance.  However, I’m learning that with my God there are 3^rd and 4^th chances but with people that isn’t necessarily the case unless your names are Jean Ann and Barnes O’Neal.  I’m learning that God is a God of the 3rd and 4th chances, but we usually limit Him to 2 when we limit others to as many.  I'm ending this mid-thought because I think that last sentence is so important it needs to be reflected on further.    

Here’s some good news as I type in the insomnianic (is that a word?) dark at 12:56 AM about my tomorrow morning --

It might not be the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen but it’s a new day!

Last but not least…my devotional verse tonight is eerily worth sharing…

Matthew 7:1-2
¹Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Thoughts from the weekend...

"Only The Good Die Young"

I've always felt guilt about war.  Why you may ask?  I have never had a close friend or family member overseas so I never felt it "hit home".  I pray daily for soldiers overseas fighting for our freedom but...is that enough?

Last night while sitting with a friend chatting, she received a phone call relaying that some local friends received a phone call that no parent should ever have to take -- their 20 year old Marine son was killed in Afghanistan.  I felt a stab in my heart for this family, for his friends, for his baby sister and for all of his fellow comrades.  Just last week his Mom lost her Mom and now she is faced with burying her valiant son.

Lance Corporal Christopher Blake Rodgers

Plato said....."Only the dead have seen the end of war".... ironically this quote was on Blake's Facebook page.  I pray for many things daily....my main prayer for today is that war will end so we won't have to read Plato's quote and know that it is so very true.

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

Hug your family!

Grace Replaced Shame

I have always blogged in my own way -- even before computers...I've just never been compelled to share them.  Since I've been encouraged to "go public" by a few peeps, I have felt cathartic and a peace about me in being able to put myself out there.  I am me, love me or hate me but at least you know who I am.

I have also been amazed at the number of blogs I'm led to by clicking on other people's.  I could never be so eloquent as the blog I read below from a young mother who had an affair 9 years ago and confessed and saved her marriage.  She truly puts herself out there!  It compelled me to share her latest post....

Grace Replaced Shame

A close friend asked me if if I still ever feel shame for the things in my past. And if I did, how do I get out of that.

Sigh.
Yes. Shame comes in like a tsumani. Quiet and distant and then all of a sudden overwhelming, powerful and enough to drown a thousand souls.
I could be sitting in Starbucks, walking on a beach or talking with a group of people at church. It doesn’t matter.
Shame comes barreling in without warning, without asking me if it was okay if it takes up residence in my heart, without offering to clean up after itself.
And most of the time it crumples me. Shame leaves me limp and hurt and gasping for air. My heart feels like it’s been filled with sand and suddenly I’m embarrassed of everything I’ve ever said or done.
But grace replaced shame.
It did two thousand years ago when Love died and then lived. Grace replaced shame six years ago when I confessed to killing all of the trust in my marriage.
And grace continues to replace shame when I feel the tsunami and the heart-full-of-sand feeling in the church lobby.
Grace is polite and warm and offers a place to sleep. Grace lets you cry without embarrassment and holds your hand without awkwardness. Grace strengthens and fortifies and supports, Grace protects and doesn’t steal like shame does.
Grace replaces shame.

How often do you experience shame? How do you replace it with grace?

The Bucket List

Forever I have been enamored by reading articles and hearing cool stories of people who "walked the walk" and "talked the talk", took a leap of faith, jumped outside the box and truly took a pen and slashed a line through a number of things on their Bucket List.  I am so incredibly frustrated with myself that I think constantly of doing cool things, cool lists and NEVER put them to practice.


I am constantly hearing friends say, "Oh, that's on my bucket list" but my question is do they, do I, really know what our bucket list consists of and do we really ever put pen to paper, finger to keyboard and make things happen?!?!?!?


I'm thinking that everyone I know needs to do their own bucket list.  I was recently talking to a friend about her daughter and her friends who were working on a bucket list of everything they wanted to complete before they graduate from college.  I'm so jealous I can't push the rewind button on that one!


My definition of a Bucket List is to keep me dreaming and motivated.  The cool thing is....a bucket list can be anything you want it to be from taking adult tap lessons to climbing Mount Everest.  


Let's face it -- Death bites!  Now get to doing the alternative -- LIVING!


NAO BUCKET LIST
Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge

Read the entire Bible consistently instead of jumping from old to new and new to old

Travel to all 50 states

Live by the sea

Learn to Tango

Send my parents on a luxury vacation

Take a cooking class

Achieve my ideal weight

Make someone’s dream come true

Kissing on the kiss cam at a basketball game

See Greece

Alaskan cruise

Ride a gondola in Venice

Explore Italy and Rome with the one I love

Learn how to build a website

Do something completely crazy and out of character

Visit the leaning tower of Pisa

DIVE!

Tour Napa – Cakebread winery

Travel around San Francisco in a cable car

Go Caribbean Island Hopping

Learn how to play Chess

Attend the Kentucky Derby in a fabulous hat

Make a positive difference in at least one person’s life - COMPLETED OCT 2010 (Thanks Kathi Tatum!)

Become an early riser

Learn not to take what others do or say personally
Eliminate diet cokes from my life!
Completely train my dog in the correct manner

Completed 

Backpacked in Europe - 7 countries

Bought my own house with my own money

Financial and Personal Independence after my divorce

Hiked in the Swiss Alps

Stood in the Coliseum in Rome

Hung out at the Eiffel Tower

Took in Vatican City with awe

Flew in a helicopter/Over the Grand Canyon (2 for 1)

Won over a grand in Vegas

Redid an entire room in my house COMPLETELY!  

Dads for Daughters

So maybe it's not normal that Anderson Cooper with a dash of Sanjay Gupta are on my "Top Ten" list of male celebs I love.  I'm aware I am the exception to the rule but hey!  substance should count amongst dimples, six packs and Matthew M accents.  From the Gulf Oil Spill, Mosques at Ground Zero and Jesse cheating on Sandra -- I have found a rather refreshing, impactful story from my buddy Sanjay.  I hope you will take the time to read and listen about Dads for Daughters and the Council of Dads.  Wow!  

In summary, imagine being a father and finding out you were going to die. Who would be
there for your kids? Hear from one man who thought only of his daughters when he was faced with the news.

A father who learned he had cancer worried that his twin daughters would grow up without strong male influence. So he enlisted six friends to guide them through life's ups and downs. His thoughts immediately turned to his girls. And what would happen if he died and they were left fatherless. In the middle of the night he came up with an idea – contacting six of his closest friends and asking them to be there for his girls if he died. He asked them by reading each a letter he wrote - “ Dear Friend, As you know, I recently learned that I have a seven-inch cancerous tumor in my left leg. That afternoon, Tybee and Eden, who had just turned three, came running to greet me, laughing, giggling, and falling to the ground. I crumbled. I kept imagining all the walks I might not take with them, the ballet recitals I might not see. Would they wonder who I was? Would they yearn for my voice? I believe Eden and Tybee will have plenty of love, plenty of opportunities in their lives. But they may not have their dad. Will you help be their dad?”

All six men said yes -and Bruce created for Eden and Tybee what he would call “The Council of Dads.” A group of men who would be with him, his girls and his wife as he fought this rare and aggressive cancer.

MY SUMMARY:
LIVE for today but PLAN for tomorrow (a.k.a. Draw up a will and talk about the uncomfortable "what if's")


http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2010/06/14/gupta.dads.for.daughters.cnn?iref=allsearch

For Suni, my "misunderstood friend"

"They may see the good you do as self-serving, continue to do good. They may see your generosity as grandstanding, continue to be generous. They may see your warm and caring nature as a weakness, continue to be warm and caring.  For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It never was between you and them anyway." - Author Unknown

Hug One Another

One is rude.
The other is mean.
The older one used her words to wound, her tone of voice to scar and get her way.
The other used his five-year-old powers of provocation by taking what is not his and barring the way out of the room.
My niece and nephew at one time spent an entire Saturday morning of energy getting under one another’s skins until it erupted into a full fledged screaming/whining/crying argument. Why can’t they just get along, I think.
Loud THUMPS on the bedroom floor signal me to intervene.
Huffs and Puffs float down the hallway. They deposit themselves on the floor of the kitchen where I am.
“You MAY not treat each other this way. You cannot.”
I turn them both to face me and try to explain to them empathy and love and compassion and how Jesus wants us to act. How He wants us to show each other kindness. I talk to them about forgiveness and living in peace
Hug each other, I tell them. Their embrace is loose without any emotion. They’ve hugged because I’ve asked them to. No more than that.
“Do you forgive her? And do you forgive him?” I look back and forth, see their faces ready to spill.
Yes, and now there are real tears.They are tired of hearing me lecture them about compassion and all they want is real human, connecting touch.
And what do you think they do? They hug ME. For consolation. For forgiveness. For saving.
And by hugging me, they’ve reconciled with each other. For the moment, I’ve been their bridge.
When we grow up, we hurt each other far worse than a few rolled eyes and a GIVE-THAT-BACK! We steal husbands and friendships and parking spaces. We tell lies and tell people off. We passively and aggressively put people on our black lists and we shun and snub. It seems like we hurt each other all the time.
But there is a Bridge. And He’d rather us hug one another, but when we can’t just bring ourselves to throw our arms around the neck of someone who has wounded us in our soul, He is there. We can fall into Him and be reconciled to one another BECAUSE of Him. He saves. He consoles. And He is Grace when we can’t offer any ourselves.
Hug one another and get on that bridge!

My favorite daily devotion ever was an interactive task which included an exercise in randomly writing down 50 things I am thankful for. I took a stab and literally they flew out of my brain and onto my laptop at record speed. Throughout my life's recent career change of moving on to supposedly "greener pastures", it would seem I need to print this list out, reflect upon it, "check myself before I wreck myself" as Suni says and overall, thank the good Lord above for a great life I live!

50 Things I love and am thankful for in my life in no order……

1. Christianity and the comfort of God, my Savior 
2. Holy Bible 
3. Being Southern along with that slow southern slang that rolls off the tongue like sweet molasses. 
4. Diet Cokes from a fountain poured over crushed ice or even better the occasional rare treat of a Diet Coke in a old fashioned glass bottle w/ a pack of peanuts poured in it to remind me of my Granddaddy 
5. The perfect glass of sweet tea poured over crushed ice (preferably Mrs. Bohannon’s) 
6. SEC Football Saturdays and Larry Munson’s exciting voice– Go DAWGS!!!!! 
7. The comfort of having the same friends since childhood…. 
8. Hearing “I love you Aunt Nat” 
9. Having parents who love each other and who instilled Christian values in me. 
10. Having grandparents who loved each other literally until their dying day. 
11. Loyalty, Acceptance, Nostalgia, Charisma, Thrills, Trust, Honesty, Self-Awareness, Motivation, Peace of Mind, Faith, Maturity, True Forgiveness 
12. Pajamas – cute ones, satin ones, flannel ones, silk ones, cotton ones - Stripes, Dots, Leopard, Zebra 
13. The perfect cup of hot Dunkin Donuts Lite Coffee w/ Sweet n’ Low from 5th & 32nd in NYC 
14. Smelling my gardenias and knowing it was my Mom’s wedding bouquet 
15. When the restaurant bartender fixes the perfect citron vodka tonic with two limes 
16. Having people in my life who know my mood the minute I say one word on the phone. 
17. The perfect lip gloss feel and color 
18. When a friend says just the right thing I didn’t even know I needed to hear 
19. Anything Chocolate!!!!!! 
20. Country music and the way it makes me feel 
21. The thrill of winning money, no matter what amount in Vegas 
22. Concerts where I know every single song 
23. New York and how blessed I am to be able to take in the city, nice restaurants, shopping and people through my job 
24. Southern gentlemen in polos and khakis 
25. Ice cold bottled water 
26. Ice cold bottled lite beer 
27. Memories of neighbors – current and past ones 
28. Receiving surprise flowers with a thoughtful card 
29. The perfect hot shower with the perfect amount of water pressure 
30. Hearing a song on the radio which brings to mind a random fun memory 
31. No lines at Wally World or Target or the Grocery Store 
32. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all 
33. A knowing look 
34. Waking up and realizing I still have time left to sleep 
35. The unconditional love of a child or animal 
36. Seeing my hydrangeas bloom 
37. Road trips with friends 
38. Butterflies in my stomach 
39. Sunrises/Sunsets 
40. Sleeping at the beach with the windows open and hearing the water 
41. Waffles w/ butter and strawberry jelly & crispy bacon 
42. Hot baths 
43. Finishing a crossword puzzle (without cheating) 
44. My financial and personal independence 
45. The United States military and the sacrifices made daily on my behalf 
46. My ipod and the joy it brings me when traveling – I can set my mood per genre 
47. Kindness from strangers 
48. Good old fashioned manners - Please, Pardon Me, Thank you, Yes Ma’am, No Ma’am, Yes Sir and No Sir 
49. Shrimp and Grits 
50. Quotes along with all of the quote books my Mom has given me over the years and written in, especially the one titled, P.S. I Love You, with the quote underlined – “If you are going to wait for someone, wait for the Lord.”