The Letter "E"

"Frying chicken always makes me feel a little better about life." ~Kathryn Stockett (The Help)

The book, The Help, has had the largest impact on me than any novel I've ever read.  I smiled, I cried, I laughed and I mourned.....all because of the letter "E".  

MEET "E"

Risa, "E" and her husband, Bud Freeman at Nannie & Granddaddy's 

50th Wedding Anniversary Party in Forsyth

"E" was my Grandparent's maid for well over 50 years.  Legend has it that neither Greg or myself could pronounce the name Risa; therefore, it somehow came out as "E."  Every Birthday, Christmas, Halloween and Valentine card was always signed with quotation marks and the letter E.  It wasn't until several years into my elementary school education that I started to put two and two together and realized that my cards from "E" and from my Nannie and Granddaddy were signed in the same handwriting.  Hence, the raw truth had to be told to a little girl from her grandmother that her beloved "E" could not read or write.  The truth was, I didn't care one way or another.  I knew that I loved her and I knew that she loved me.  Her heart and soul was put into every dime of that ten dollar bill I received each year on my Birthday.  


Forsyth (my Mom's hometown) was steeped in traditions for Greg and me.  Prior to a visit, the first phone call from Nannie without fail said the same thing, "What do you want "E" to cook you for lunch?"  The same answer was given every time...."Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Biscuits, Chocolate Pudding and Sweet Tea."  I'll never be able to eat a piece of Fried Chicken again.  There are days my mouth waters thinking about the taste of that meal I had hundreds of times and never once complained about the frequency.  There was no place I would rather be as a kid than standing up on a chair proudly washing the dishes from lunch with "E".  She never had children and considered us and called us her "chillun", respectively, John and Sister.      

Washin' dishes with "E"....one of my favorite Forsyth past times

"E's" "chillun", John (Greg) and Sister (Natalie)

If I had to pick one thing that I loved about "E" the most is my world was one color with her.  I never knew anything different.  Our love was unconditional -- just like Baby Girl and Aibileen in The Help.  She helped me grow up.  I still have every single card and $2 dollar bill she gave me.  


On a work trip to China 7 years ago soon after the death of "E", I received a call from my Dad along with the shock of my life.  "E" had named me executor of her will along with leaving me a kind and meaningful gift.    


I'll leave you with one thought.....  


"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

Pay it forward.  

My Friend Kim

My friend Kim

She’s fun

She’s loud

She’s loyal

She’s caring

She’s a christian

She’s stronger than a tea bag steeped in hot water

She’s the best mom ever!

She’s obsessively organized

She’s the best planner I know

she loves the old family farm

she can turn a negative into a positive in a heartbeat! 

she's in my best memories of high school

She could give pottery barn a run for their money any day of the week in design

She owns stock in chardonnay with floating ice cubes

She’s non judgmental

She’s faithful

She’s a dr. pepper addict

She loves dr. Seuss

She still sleeps with the most loyal man she’ll ever know, her teddy bear, “ted”

She loves the beach

She’s sunshine on an otherwise rainy day

She’s helped me more in the past year than she will ever know!

I love you kim for being you including all of your idiosyncrasies.

Second Chances

I’ve lost my writeability!   Is that is even a word?  Letters used to multiply and wrap around each other on the page and they don’t do that anymore!  I have sat down time and again and tried to write on topics such as consequences for actions, 2^nd chances, forgiveness and the list goes on and on.  I think I have finally decided that I need to write but I need to write for me and me alone.  I don’t need to be fancy.  I need to be real and if real includes simplistic words and commas tossed here and there, then that’s okay. 

I’m no longer in school but I’m still learning.  I learn things everyday.  I’m learning new things in excel for work, I’m learning about the Jewish religion and lately and most important, I’m learning that people sometimes aren’t who you really think they are.       

ARE THERE SECOND CHANCES? 

Personally, I think that everyone deserves a 2^nd chance.  However, I’m learning that with my God there are 3^rd and 4^th chances but with people that isn’t necessarily the case unless your names are Jean Ann and Barnes O’Neal.  I’m learning that God is a God of the 3rd and 4th chances, but we usually limit Him to 2 when we limit others to as many.  I'm ending this mid-thought because I think that last sentence is so important it needs to be reflected on further.    

Here’s some good news as I type in the insomnianic (is that a word?) dark at 12:56 AM about my tomorrow morning --

It might not be the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen but it’s a new day!

Last but not least…my devotional verse tonight is eerily worth sharing…

Matthew 7:1-2
¹Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Thoughts from the weekend...

"Only The Good Die Young"

I've always felt guilt about war.  Why you may ask?  I have never had a close friend or family member overseas so I never felt it "hit home".  I pray daily for soldiers overseas fighting for our freedom but...is that enough?

Last night while sitting with a friend chatting, she received a phone call relaying that some local friends received a phone call that no parent should ever have to take -- their 20 year old Marine son was killed in Afghanistan.  I felt a stab in my heart for this family, for his friends, for his baby sister and for all of his fellow comrades.  Just last week his Mom lost her Mom and now she is faced with burying her valiant son.

Lance Corporal Christopher Blake Rodgers

Plato said....."Only the dead have seen the end of war".... ironically this quote was on Blake's Facebook page.  I pray for many things daily....my main prayer for today is that war will end so we won't have to read Plato's quote and know that it is so very true.

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

Hug your family!

Grace Replaced Shame

I have always blogged in my own way -- even before computers...I've just never been compelled to share them.  Since I've been encouraged to "go public" by a few peeps, I have felt cathartic and a peace about me in being able to put myself out there.  I am me, love me or hate me but at least you know who I am.

I have also been amazed at the number of blogs I'm led to by clicking on other people's.  I could never be so eloquent as the blog I read below from a young mother who had an affair 9 years ago and confessed and saved her marriage.  She truly puts herself out there!  It compelled me to share her latest post....

Grace Replaced Shame

A close friend asked me if if I still ever feel shame for the things in my past. And if I did, how do I get out of that.

Sigh.
Yes. Shame comes in like a tsumani. Quiet and distant and then all of a sudden overwhelming, powerful and enough to drown a thousand souls.
I could be sitting in Starbucks, walking on a beach or talking with a group of people at church. It doesn’t matter.
Shame comes barreling in without warning, without asking me if it was okay if it takes up residence in my heart, without offering to clean up after itself.
And most of the time it crumples me. Shame leaves me limp and hurt and gasping for air. My heart feels like it’s been filled with sand and suddenly I’m embarrassed of everything I’ve ever said or done.
But grace replaced shame.
It did two thousand years ago when Love died and then lived. Grace replaced shame six years ago when I confessed to killing all of the trust in my marriage.
And grace continues to replace shame when I feel the tsunami and the heart-full-of-sand feeling in the church lobby.
Grace is polite and warm and offers a place to sleep. Grace lets you cry without embarrassment and holds your hand without awkwardness. Grace strengthens and fortifies and supports, Grace protects and doesn’t steal like shame does.
Grace replaces shame.

How often do you experience shame? How do you replace it with grace?

The Bucket List

Forever I have been enamored by reading articles and hearing cool stories of people who "walked the walk" and "talked the talk", took a leap of faith, jumped outside the box and truly took a pen and slashed a line through a number of things on their Bucket List.  I am so incredibly frustrated with myself that I think constantly of doing cool things, cool lists and NEVER put them to practice.


I am constantly hearing friends say, "Oh, that's on my bucket list" but my question is do they, do I, really know what our bucket list consists of and do we really ever put pen to paper, finger to keyboard and make things happen?!?!?!?


I'm thinking that everyone I know needs to do their own bucket list.  I was recently talking to a friend about her daughter and her friends who were working on a bucket list of everything they wanted to complete before they graduate from college.  I'm so jealous I can't push the rewind button on that one!


My definition of a Bucket List is to keep me dreaming and motivated.  The cool thing is....a bucket list can be anything you want it to be from taking adult tap lessons to climbing Mount Everest.  


Let's face it -- Death bites!  Now get to doing the alternative -- LIVING!


NAO BUCKET LIST
Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge

Read the entire Bible consistently instead of jumping from old to new and new to old

Travel to all 50 states

Live by the sea

Learn to Tango

Send my parents on a luxury vacation

Take a cooking class

Achieve my ideal weight

Make someone’s dream come true

Kissing on the kiss cam at a basketball game

See Greece

Alaskan cruise

Ride a gondola in Venice

Explore Italy and Rome with the one I love

Learn how to build a website

Do something completely crazy and out of character

Visit the leaning tower of Pisa

DIVE!

Tour Napa – Cakebread winery

Travel around San Francisco in a cable car

Go Caribbean Island Hopping

Learn how to play Chess

Attend the Kentucky Derby in a fabulous hat

Make a positive difference in at least one person’s life - COMPLETED OCT 2010 (Thanks Kathi Tatum!)

Become an early riser

Learn not to take what others do or say personally
Eliminate diet cokes from my life!
Completely train my dog in the correct manner

Completed 

Backpacked in Europe - 7 countries

Bought my own house with my own money

Financial and Personal Independence after my divorce

Hiked in the Swiss Alps

Stood in the Coliseum in Rome

Hung out at the Eiffel Tower

Took in Vatican City with awe

Flew in a helicopter/Over the Grand Canyon (2 for 1)

Won over a grand in Vegas

Redid an entire room in my house COMPLETELY!