One of the best tools I brought home from "The Peach" is the check in. JT and I decided to implement this in our household. Every morning and every night we check in with one another. There are ground rules just like there are in group therapy. One must not interrupt the other, check in must be verbal and not via text. Check ins must occur no matter how sleepy one is or isn't morning or night.
I felt we had some pretty good communication skills in our relationship. Now, I have validated those skills and improved upon them. The check in makes us accountable for our feelings -- the good, the bad and the ugly ones. A large part of my illness was keeping things to myself, compartmentalizing bad items, not acknowledging problems. The check in affords me a platform to get these things off my chest with someone who I know loves me for who I am and is there to listen, help and grow with me on my path of recovery. It also allows me to wake up to a sweet note such as the below one that I cherish now more than ever.
I have painted a rosy picture of the check in. I must warn you that check ins can be rough and brutal as well. The only way a check in is successful is if you are not only honest with your spouse but honest with yourself too. It's not fun to say I feel angry today because I have let "x" problem consume me and it's taking away from my recovery process. However, on the upside of that, if feels amazing to say, I feel hopeful today because I have a clear mind and have accomplished so many things this week.
Check in or check out.
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