Turkey Tears

I've always felt I could give advice but never take my own.  Some folks have zero problem loving themselves enough to post a selfie or 2 or 10.  I'm working on loving myself and with that comes patting myself on the back for achievements.  They can be baby feats or really big ones like hosting Thanksgiving back to back for both of our families on Thursday and Friday.  I cried several times over the weekend.  The troublesome thing for me about my tears flowing was I really didn't know why, no major "trigger" happened.  I cried snapping beans, I cried mixing mac and cheese, I cried pouring sugar for tea and I cried in JT's arms.  I've come to accept that crying can be cleansing and good for us and it's like pushing a reset button to bounce back.  

In the interim, I texted with a friend who said exactly what I needed to hear which leads me to my next topic ... powerful connections.  It's really hard for me to keep up with relationships while I try to heal and recover.  There are a handful of people who understand.  One of the most powerful concepts to me is the feeling of someone being there even if not in person.  Yesterday, I received a text from a friend who asked for a prayer.  I panicked.  I took a deep breath and opened my "Everything is going to be OK" book and flipped through the pages.  I found a prayer I had written down from a book in a dark moment and then expanded it to what I was feeling for my friend.       

Dear God, 

Sometimes the cares of the day seem to multiply, while the blessings fade so quickly.  Our bodies grow tired, and our minds even more tired.  Give ____ the strength you've promised in your Word.  Give ____ the power to take the next step.  Give ____ your grace for we know that in our weaknesses your strength is revealed.  May ____ receive it today.  Help us remember that nothing is going to happen to ____ today that you and _____ can't handle together.  Amen.

Today, I shared this prayer with Olivia, my therapist.  I looked up and tears streamed down her face and mine.  It was then that I realized that being there for each other even if only in spirit, is what it's really all about just like God is always ever present for us.  May we all feel God's love this holiday season.      

Maybe one day I'll take a selfie but rest assured it will stay on my camera roll only.  #ihateselfies 
Meanwhile, enjoy our not so photogenic but loving family photos.