Overwhelmed

For two homebodies, we packed in a lot of stuff in the Memorial Day weekend including a neighborhood pool party, a trip to Griffin, a family pool party, a visit with my parents, Church, dinner and a store visit with my Chinese vendor, dinner at our neighbors and some household chores.  It makes me tired just typing the list.  All in all, a pretty successful and fun long weekend.  In the interest of honest and full promised blogging disclosure, I did have a hiccup along the way.  That dang word overwhelm crept up again.  According to Merriam Webster, here is the definition.    

over·whelm

 verb \ˌō-vər-ˈhwelm, -ˈwelm\

: to affect (someone) very strongly

: to cause (someone) to have too many things to deal with

: to defeat (someone or something) completely   

Saturday and Sunday I had things that I let overwhelm me.  I cried.  I let it defeat me for a little while, but not for long.  Why?  Because I checked in.  If there is one single thing I hope people get out of this post and my blog, it is the importance of communication and getting things off your chest.  The check in process in our house has helped us instrumentally.  Months ago, I would have kept it in and let it manifest into other problems had I not had an open, honest forum with JT to discuss the 2 issues.       

One of the hardest things to do is give into the fact we cannot control what others say, we can only control our reaction to what they say.  We are all guilty of talking before we think -- some more than others. (#justsayin)  

I don't think I realized the extent of my anxiousness of being around people I haven't seen in a long time.  I didn't realize it because I have been so open and forthright in my blog about my illness, my suicide attempt (yes, I said that, so so hard to type and say) and my recovery.  I think part of the anxiousness is how much I've learned about how others truly don't understand depression and mental illness as a whole.  It's self induced anxiety on my part.  Truly, it is.   

Check in.  Today I am feeling loved, loving the weather, curious as to what the support group will have in store for tonight and happy it is a 4 day work week.  How are you?  Check in!