Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Gratitude & Perspective

What defines you? 
If someone asks you that question, what would you say? 
A mother? A sister? A daughter? A friend? A teacher? A runner? 

Yesterday in therapy, I made the statement that I was concerned about being defined by depression.  "Don't let that happen.  You are so much more than that Natalie."  Yes, I am.  We are all so much more than our mental health diagnosis, our jobs, our daily roles.  I am a child of God and a wife who happens to suffer from depression.  It's all about how I choose to prioritize who I am.  Don't let others decide who you are.  Decide for yourself! 

Right now I am in the depths of recovery so it's hard not to let depression define me or my marriage.  However, I am aware.  Awareness is key.  I am aware that one day I won't be focused on therapy, support groups, research, blogs.  I am also aware that experiencing pain makes me appreciate joy even more.  I have a friend I text with every morning and we both say, Good morning, today I am grateful for.......  It holds me accountable.  It makes me start each day with a positive.  I'm here to tell you there are some mornings I want to grumble and send a complaint.  But, I don't.  Gratitude.  

I made the statement Saturday to my parents and JT, "I wouldn't trade what I've been through for anything.  I feel amazing and so much better than I ever knew I could."  They all 3 looked at me like I was an alien.   Mercy!  They would trade all of the worry, guilt and sleepless nights I'm sure.  Perspective. 

I am not my depression.

xo...n      

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