A Full Calendar

I promised some laughs and a tour of "inside the walls" of Peachford....I'll get there eventually, but not tonight.  One of the most difficult things of being "on the outside," is the feeling of being under a microscope.  Sometimes everyone seems to know the whats, whys and who's of me when in reality they know very little.  It’s kind of funny in a sarcastic way for me to sit back and hear things about me such as, “She moved away from Griffin and it was too much, she never got over dealing with that lost friendship from last year, she works from home and should be around people more, she has no friends in Alpharetta and how will she meet people, JT is the cause of this and the pressure she has felt to move, the wedding was just too much with moving and the issues surrounding it, she’s been talking to x,y and z and they aren’t good for her."

My reality is only 4 people know my triggers, causes, length of illness, recovery process, treatment plan and medications — me, my husband, my Doctor and my therapist.  I have found that it is important for that to remain true and I highly recommend it to anyone going through something similar.  Others don’t understand — they may say they do, but they don’t.  Not one “single” event has “caused” my depression.  Chemical imbalances trigger many things in people.  Until you have walked a mile in clinical depression's shoes, you don’t understand.  You haven’t felt the cloud, the sadness, the pain, the feeling of worthlessness, the racing thoughts, the exhaustion and sheer feeling of being overwhelmed in all you do.  I had a person who read my blog make the statement via email, "everyday is a March 7th for me."  It broke my heart because I know how much pain she is in and I pray she gets the help, support, proper medications and treatment she deserves.    

It is extremely important to support a friend with mental illness  — support via hugs, love and positivity.  Rumors, being told what you should or shouldn’t be doing, judgements, are not helpful to anyone.  It delays healing.  It triggers old habits.  Personally, I am treating this exactly like I have an addiction.  Successful addicts change their lifestyle (I cannot afford not to).  They attend meetings, support groups, Dr. visits and therapy.  I am changing my lifestyle and the meetings and groups are in ink on my calendar.  

I don't really have time for depression, my calendar is full.  xo...Natalie