Support, it's not just an undergarment

This weekend we discussed how long I have been mentally ill.  Maybe my whole life?  Maybe since high school?  Maybe since 2001?  All I do know is depression has been a part of me just like allergies have been and I can't remember the last time I didn't wake up sneezing.  

We are within a couple of weeks of my hospitalization anniversary.  This has caused me to reflect a lot over the past year.  Mainly, it has caused me to be grateful for my support system.  I sit in many of my support group meetings listening to people who have no one, no one to prod them to get help, no one to listen, no one to ask if they have had their meds, no one to tell them they care.  We all need people in our lives.  I have found that a support system consisting of old friends combined with new is so healthy for me.  It is so refreshing to receive an email or a text from someone who has walked in my shoes, been hospitalized and who "gets it".  It's like having our own secret code.  At the same time, there is nothing better than an old friend reaching out and still loving me for who I am today.  We are all broken in some way and in need of people to help repair our cracks.  

JT will turn as red as his hair when reading this....but I've been saving all of my "support system" messages since last year to help me through a rainy day.  I say it often and I'll say it again, reach out.  You make a difference to people in ways you will never know.  

Thank you all for being a force of support in my journey.      


I love you so much.  You are so strong...you continue to amaze me.

That was sweet.  You do make a positive difference in many lives Nat...most especially mine.  You just may not realize it (or perhaps I do not tell you enough).  :)

I hope this was therapeutic for you.  It’s a good thing to reassess…but know that I love you for who you are…right now.  And for who I know you want to be…and all things in between.  You are such a good soul…a light in my life…and my love.

Well said.  We must stumble through some of the past…if only not to repeat it.  But we will not get mired there.

I’m so happy and lucky to have you in my life.  I love you so much.

I love you so much.  You are so very brave…I wonder if you know that.  You make me so proud so often…and I have a tear in my eye right now.

Nice blog today.  Love that pic of your parents by the fire.

6.29.14 & 6.30.14 You make me feel loved like no other

A bit of a delay on part two due to a busy weekend at Bethany Bend celebrating and enjoying all we have accomplished and overcome in a year.  Part two of JT's blog may or may not be coming today :)
  
In summary of our first year of marriage, here a few reasons I love JT more today than I did on June 29, 2013.  

You make me want to get better.  
You define "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse."
You pick me up when I fall, literally and figuratively.
You shed tears a lot and I love to see your emotions. 
You are a sensitive soul under a veil of toughness.
You make me laugh daily without fail.
You make me want to follow the rules in life. 
You make me feel safe.
You turn the page. 
You make me feel loved like no other.  

Below are some of my favorite pictures with a bit of an explanation.

This look on JT's face prior to the big announcement makes me smile. 

I love this because I'm trying to decide who is talking the loudest in this shot - Kim or Dad! 

I'm amazed that JT and I both still have our high school best friends.  The pictures below show years and years of friendship.  

Prayers over our marriage.

                          

This is all of the Franklin family arriving right before the wedding because Jon called in a panic to get his camera sent.  One of my absolute favorite parts is seeing all of the kids run down for the ceremony.  

Sweet Hobba...flying in from Breck for less than 24 hours.  There aren't many friends like that in life.  

WE DID IT!

The day, the night, the weekend, the faces, the hugs, the warmth, the sacrifices friends made in so many ways.  We are humbled and overwhelmed that people love us this much.  

6.23.14 Anniversary count down

In honor of the week of our 1st Anniversary, I'd like to blog each day and tell our story of how June 29th came to be.  It's harder than you may think for me to tell this story.  I was ill then.  251 days later, I was hospitalized.  I made mistakes during the planning.  I was emotional.  I made decisions not thinking clearly which "clearly" hurt others during this time. Some have understood, some haven't.  That's how this illness works.  We do the best we can.  We hurt, we forgive, we cry, we laugh, we love.     

JT finally got the courage to ask me one day, "How did you feel during our wedding?  Do you remember it?"  As much as his heart has been broken thinking he could have done more, my heart was broken thinking he thought I wasn't all there and in the moment on our special night.  I think we've both proven to each other since then that our love has only grown stronger since June 29th.  

57 days

That's how long it took to plan our wedding.  

And so it began Friday, May 3, 2013 with a phone call and an idea from Gloria.  After talking to JT, the deal was sealed and documented below.    

The hundreds and I mean hundreds of text messages bounced back and forth. Secret Spalamar meetings, secret dress fittings on Maple, secret menus planned, "Engagement" party invites created, a table, bench and arbor from Gloria's house chosen for the ceremony, speeches written, secret meetings with Wayne at Artistic, etc.   

It was super fun when the texts started rolling in like the one above from Anna.  That's when I really knew it was real and we had a short time to plan yet a long time to keep a secret!