Life is a flight

Sometimes I think of life as a flight, possibly because I’m on and off a plane every month.  

With each layover, people board.  Some of these people are friends, some are strangers, some are strangers who are soon to be friends.  

Some people deplane and walk down the gateway to walk a different gate for a connection.  

Others stay on the flight and head to the next destination with me.  

During these flights, there are delays, early arrivals and cancellations.  

Life is a lot like that.  Friendships are a lot like that as well.  People arrive in our lives when we least expect them to and they exit the same way.  

A couple of years ago, Dusty Takle came flying into my life and is one of those souls who will ride first class or in the back of the bus all the way to China with you.  Trust me, those are rarities in the travel arena.  The beauty of Dusty is I woke up this morning not knowing it was her birthday.  She’s not a high maintenance friend who “expects” things.  In fact, I go weeks without talking to her, yet I know she is there if I need her.  She just “gets it” and reads humans unlike any person I’ve ever known.  She reads people, signs and circumstances and she answers them magically.  I needed a Dusty in my life in 2012 when I met her to let me know that human magic exists.  I often describe her as my friend that makes me know that loving God can be fun.    

Today Dusty turned 40.  I woke up to a text from another friend who said, "Dusty’s post made me cry.  Good cry.”  I read her post just now and no surprise, I’m crying.  I committed to blog when I feel led or compelled or when I think I can help others with my story.  I personally think every Dusty post is a lesson for us in some form or fashion so I hope you will all read her blog entries.  

Here is a link to her post today and below are my favorites from her, “So this is 40.”

Happy Birthday Dusty!  I may rarely see you, but I know you are there flying around me at all times.  

So This Is 40

1. Don’t put too much weight into a present emotion. Because, you never know how you’re going to feel tomorrow.

8. God is not up there, out there somewhere. He is within me. 

11. It’s okay to simply say, “that’s not going to work for me” without giving further explanation.

13. Gratitude, thankfulness, appreciation, and praise are the keys to EVERYTHING.

14. Pain doesn’t last.

16. Whatever I focus on will expand – whether positive or negative. 

19. Never, ever give up on people.

20. Even when you become frustrated with where someone is in his or her life, don’t stop being their friend. They will get through that rough place. Love them through it instead of pulling back. 

21. When you know you’re wrong, own it. 

22. Say thank you as often as possible. 

23. Chill when life gets interrupted. Accept it. It happens. 

24. Dreading makes everything worse. Don’t dread what you know you already have to do. 

25. If you see a need, and it’s within your means to meet that need, do it. 

26. Give, give, give.

35. Don’t sit alone when you’re down. As hard as it is, call someone. Go be with someone you trust. Just don’t be alone.

36. Whenever you think something good is going to come from telling someone exactly what you think or “finally giving them the what for,” please know, nothing good will EVER come from that. Ever.

37. Don’t close the door to new friendships. 

38. It’s none of my business what other people think of me.

6.29.14 & 6.30.14 You make me feel loved like no other

A bit of a delay on part two due to a busy weekend at Bethany Bend celebrating and enjoying all we have accomplished and overcome in a year.  Part two of JT's blog may or may not be coming today :)
  
In summary of our first year of marriage, here a few reasons I love JT more today than I did on June 29, 2013.  

You make me want to get better.  
You define "in sickness and in health, for better or for worse."
You pick me up when I fall, literally and figuratively.
You shed tears a lot and I love to see your emotions. 
You are a sensitive soul under a veil of toughness.
You make me laugh daily without fail.
You make me want to follow the rules in life. 
You make me feel safe.
You turn the page. 
You make me feel loved like no other.  

Below are some of my favorite pictures with a bit of an explanation.

This look on JT's face prior to the big announcement makes me smile. 

I love this because I'm trying to decide who is talking the loudest in this shot - Kim or Dad! 

I'm amazed that JT and I both still have our high school best friends.  The pictures below show years and years of friendship.  

Prayers over our marriage.

                          

This is all of the Franklin family arriving right before the wedding because Jon called in a panic to get his camera sent.  One of my absolute favorite parts is seeing all of the kids run down for the ceremony.  

Sweet Hobba...flying in from Breck for less than 24 hours.  There aren't many friends like that in life.  

WE DID IT!

The day, the night, the weekend, the faces, the hugs, the warmth, the sacrifices friends made in so many ways.  We are humbled and overwhelmed that people love us this much.  

Iphone Camera Roll Call

I had a really rough week last week, my worst since being dismissed from "The Peach."  I hate to admit and write that down because I feel like I'm giving it "legs" or labeling "it" to make "it" have life.  I'm not really sure that I can pin point one solitary thing that made last week so rough.  I know I was pretty weepy in therapy as I uncovered some guilt, a friendship I miss, some shame.  Purging can be rough stuff.  I haven't had knots in my neck like I had this weekend in months and months.  Stress can manifest itself in ways physically and mentally in me like a fungus!  

I'll be pretty blunt with y'all.  I have 2 drafts in my blog I started on today.  The first was about boundaries.  The second was about the "greater good."  That's the beauty of writing, journaling, therapy and healing.  God always guides us in the direction He feels we need to go -- clearly, boundaries and the greater good will have to wait for another day, another time.

Assuming most of you have iPhones.  Open your camera roll.  Scroll through, pick 10 different photos or videos.  Close your eyes for each photo/video and reflect on what each of them mean to you.  I am praying you laugh, cry tears of happiness and smile as big as I did this morning.  Below are my ten and what they mean to me.  All are a reminder for me to grab this week by the horns and better myself and live life to the fullest!  


1.  A pure reminder of getting the help I needed and not feeling tired anymore.  

2.  A reminder that even on a bad day, all 4 of the boys in my life love me unconditionally.

3.  My favorite lesson my wise friend taught me.  

4.  A sweet, sweet reminder.

5.  A favorite verse.  

6.  A screenshot of a partial text from a friend who has no idea how meaningful her message was to me.  

7.  A verse Angie Morton texted JT while I was in The Peach along with an exercise of coming up with an inspirational quote using faith and hope I had to do with another patient in group at The Peach.    

8.  A note I wrote on my phone almost a month to the day of my hospitalization.  

9.  A note I started writing last July and added to on April 19th about our wedding night.  

10.  Fainting Goat!  Truly, I had tears of laughter streaming down my face thinking about the weekend of fainting goat.  

In summary, when you are sad, having a bad day, look around you.  There is always something to be grateful for, to make you smile, to make you laugh.  Chances are, it's all right there in your iPhone camera roll.  

Top Ten

Letterman I am not, but I'm finding lately I may not be with the right therapist so until I find a new one, I need to be proactive in homework and combating triggers.  This morning I created my own Top 10 Things I Should Do to Battle Depression.  In the interest of full disclosure, I don't do all of these regularly but they are goals and I know they work.  

1.  Combat feeling overwhelmed.  Make small, realistic goals.  This relates to both work and personal for me.  I have to remember to delete phone calls, make a list, clean out my in box, see what my week is going to look like.    

2.  Take my meds.  This isn't rocket science but occasionally I forget.  It's only happened once since "The Peach."  I've recently changed my daily pill box to live beside the Keurig as a morning reminder.    

3.  Exercise.  Suffice it to say, walking to and around the cul-de-sac is a feat for me at this point.  It's just a proven fact and makes sense - exercise is important for us all mentally and physically.  

4.  Therapy appointments.  I used to get super excited to go to therapy and then I realized last week when I dreaded my appointment that it's time to make a change.  Change is always hard.  However, according to the experts, medicines combined with psychotherapy are the 2 best bets in combating this illness.  

5.  Support group attendance.  I've learned that being around like minded people striving for the same goal is so healthy for me.  It's refreshing to be in a room with a retired Radiologist, a Mom of 2, an Attorney, a retired Father of a Bipolar son, a Nurse at Wesley Woods and the list goes on and on.  All people suffering yet wanting to help each other and themselves to live a healthy life.       

6.  Pay it forward.  My friend "A" is a wonderful example and encourages me more than she realizes to pay it forward.  Doing something for someone else simply makes me feel better.     

7.  Getting Spiritually Fit.  I believe in God.  My faith matters to me, everyday, not just Easter Sunday.  It has brought me through some of my darkest hours.  It gave me the friends I have today.  It is important to me to have a church home I can call my own.  I cannot combat problems as well when I am spiritually lazy.        

8.  Family & Friend focus.  When you feel like you've disappointed the people who know you and love you the most, it's a daunting feeling.  I'm overcoming this feeling.  In turn, it has made me shut out some of the people I love the very most in my life.  It's important for me to let them know it's not them, it's me.  "What can I do to help?"  These words are amazingly comforting to someone feeling overwhelmed like me.  I've learned to accept the help.  I've learned that people rarely offer things they don't mean.  The letters, the texts, the meals, the prayers, the calls, the emails have gotten us through.  I am truly humbled in how loved I feel.      

9.  Check in.  If you read my blog regularly, you know how important the check in is for me and JT.    http://1013isnotmyhousenumber.blogspot.com/2014/04/check-in-or-check-out.html  

10.  Tune in the music, tune out the news.  For me, there's nothing better than a great play list combining Bon Jovi, Nashville and some 80's pop.  What I don't do well with is the local news or CNN blasting all of the school shootings, downed planes, house fires and anything else you can imagine that's sad.    

Happy Easter Week.....n

Flashback Friday

When a crisis occurs, I have a tendency to revert back to what is comfortable. Comfort to me are songs from the 80's and early 90's sung in cars with big hair and in bedrooms with cassette tapes and fuzzy clock radios.  Comfort is knowing there is gaping space of physical distance between my high school best friends but only a quarter inch between our hearts.    

There's an unspoken code I like to think that has developed between us. There have been times we let our friendships waver and fade too much.  None of that matters.  You are here now.  I am here now.  We will always be there for each other in the important times.  And if we can't be there, we will understand that, too.  We get that there is a current life with responsibilities and struggles and even joys that neither of us is a part of because of time, distance and reality.  We will love each other unconditionally because our memories are too precious to let conditions get in the way.  

Hands down, my favorite letter received:  
  
Natalie, you can "ROCK STEADY" at this stumbling block because we're "LIVIN ON A PRAYER" for you.  You'll be singing "SWEET HOME ALABAMA" (couldn't think of anything else) but "GEORGIA" (UGA, that is) will be on your mind.  

We just want to "POUR SOME SUGAR" (smooch smooch) on you and make you "SHINE LIKE A DIAMOND."  "LAST CHRISTMAS" I'd have given you my heart if it would've helped.  "GIRL YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE" you are going to be stronger than ever before.  As Kim would say, "NO SLEEP TIL BROOKLYN."  It's probably getting old getting woken up every 15 minutes.  I'm glad you didn't tell us to "BEAT IT" when we came to see you.  

It's "MY PREROGATIVE" to see that you know how much we love you.  Jeremiah 29:11  xoxo  

I do know how much....and I love you too.