I will not act like a jackass

In the interest of full disclosure, it is Monday, it is raining, it is the day after an amazing weekend my husband surprised me with.  I do not want to write much less work.  The good news is I have been holding in my arsenal this blog entry Angie wrote.  We are friends for many reasons.  I think one of my favorite reasons is our sheer honesty with one another.  I remember typing a text to her months ago when she asked how I was one day.  I think I said something along the lines of, "Doing great."  A while later I recall typing, "I lied.  I'm not doing great.  I'm suffering."  I knew it.  I just didn't know the extent of it. 

Her honesty is below.  It is her "first" blog post she wrote when I originally asked her to write one and she stressed herself out over the entire assignment.  I'm smiling and shaking my head back and forth as I type this.  Why?  Because I think it is amazing just like she is.  

Enjoy.....



A friend of mine posted the following on Face Book yesterday.

The hand written part says “I will not act like a jackass to my father anymore.”  It was assigned after a not so great math homework session.  It literally made me laugh out loud.  I could relate.  The words I loathe to hear during homework are “My teacher doesn’t do it that way,” or “Mom, that’s the right answer, but you did it wrong and I won’t get credit.”  These statements become standoffs and the whole situation turns into a meltdown.  When I first read this post, I thought, “hmmm, maybe I should try this tactic and see if it helps.” I read it in the morning and it came to mind several times during the day, again always bringing a laugh.  However, by the end of the day I had recalled my own moments while helping with homework and came to the conclusion that I could never issue that punishment to my children.  The truth is I am usually the one acting like a jackass and this realization hit me smack in the face!  I am not a teacher and I have never claimed to be able to teach.  When I contemplate going back to work friends say, “Get your teaching degree that would be the easiest job to have while raising kids.”  They were right as it related to summer break and all the holidays; however, it would also mean that I would actually have to teach and that is NOT an easy job.  I don’t understand how to explain to my own 3^rd grader that 3 x 4 =12.  My response is “because 3 x 4 =12 – it just is, memorize it”.  

Through raising 4 children (and with the youngest being only 7 I have a ways to go) I have learned that they are all different and they all have different challenges that they meet.  Several of these challenges I never knew existed before being confronted with them and I certainly couldn’t relate to them, but I’ve learned to read and research and try to understand who they are and how they work and more importantly how I can help them.  Not fix them, but help them be the best person they can be.  The person God created them to be and intended for me to love, cherish, understand, and accept.  This is not just for me and my children, but for anyone.  I don’t always understand why people are the way they are and I never will, but I am trying to love and accept everyone and everybody for who they are and where they are in life.  This is especially true for my friend Natalie.  I always viewed depression has having a root cause, a trigger of some sort and when she first shared with me her struggles I prayed, with ignorance, that she could identify that trigger and deal with it and move on and get better.  Of all of my friends, I knew she could persevere and pull through. After all, she was always thinking of others, always following through on the great ideas that I (sometimes) had, she had a great family, a loving boyfriend (now husband) and depression didn’t suit her.  I prayed and prayed that she would be “fixed.”   I have never dealt with depression.  I have had down days and even down periods in my life, but I have never been clinically depressed and I hope I never will be.  Through research and reading Natalie’s blog I have come to understand depression a little better and have realized that there is no “fix”.  Natalie has shown us coping skills and shared stories to help us understand, but unless you have personally experienced it, I don’t believe anyone has the capability to really understand it.  So just like we accept our children for who they are, even if we don’t understand their struggles, we should accept others for who they are and who God created them to be.  Natalie is a voice from the dark that is shedding light on a struggle she faces every day and we should listen to that voice and learn from it.  So the next time I sit down to do homework I will try and remember that each child is different and the next time a friend confides in me her struggles I will listen and not immediately go in to “fix mode.”  In essence I will love and accept and not be a jackass J

Thanks for being patient with me as I try to understand and support you, thank you for being a great teacher!  Angie