Face your fear!

I remember hearing and also research validating that the majority of dog bites come out of the animal experiencing fear.  I also remember thinking that was nuts.  I don't feel that way anymore, especially since I'm seasoned in dog bites (that's a story for another day).  Fear brings out a number of emotions.  I think we are all fearful of the unknown.  I was scared to death when I was at Peachford and saw someone check the box on their self inventory, "are you having homicidal thoughts?" YES!  Even more fearful when she announced herself as Bipolar and proceeded to talk into a pretend walkie talkie as a member of the CIA. (Yes, you are allowed to laugh at this)  

One day in processing group, I was tired, not wanting to be there and I snapped at someone.  I told her she was being distracting.  She proceeded to get in the fetal position in a corner and rock and cry.  I felt horrible!  I apologized profusely for hurting her feelings.  She proceeded to leave the room.  The group facilitator said, "Natalie, you did nothing wrong.  Just remember there are different levels of mental illness."  She was Bipolar and has PTSD.  There you have it.  It was the unknown for me.  I didn't understand those illnesses.  I was fearful of them.      

I was baffled in support group a couple of weeks ago about the word mania in association with Bipolar.  The symptoms were ones I had never experienced and to my knowledge never been around.  The reality is it was pure fear on my part because I was surrounded by Bipolar patients at The Peach and also in my support group meetings.  I was experiencing thoughts of fear simply because it's something I cannot relate to and understand.  I'm learning though.  I'm learning that along with Bipolar comes depression and that is something I can relate to daily.  I'm challenging myself to learn more about this illness and I challenge you as well to open yourself up to learning about things you are in fear of.  We have a tendency to react quickly and listen poorly when we don't understanding something.  

     
I'm looking forward to going to a new support group tomorrow night and facing my fears of the unknown -- new people, new topics, a new group.  All 3 things I'm equipped now to overcome.