Love yourself

I think one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is self respect.  I am learning to love myself again and respect comes with love.  I have always believed that true love for one another cannot really occur without respect.  I had a Doctor's appointment yesterday at Peachford.  It went extremely well.  I went into the appointment almost thinking I was going to "break up" with my Doctor.  A bout of miscommunication with missed and returned phone calls between him and my therapist left me feeling uneasy.  A simple explanation eased my anxiety.  Chances are, simple explanations will always ease our anxiety.  It is the in between moments we allow ourselves to worry that cause angst.  

I was amazed at how well he remembered me, my story, my diagnosis.  Either he has an amazing memory or did some major speeding reading of my file.  Either way, I feel secure that we won't be breaking up any time soon.  I only received a "C" in one area and I quickly remedied that in doing what he asked of me.  It is easy for all of us to play "armchair Psychiatrist."  Clearly, I do that.  I had another patient at Peachford ask me if I was in the business.  No, seriously, she asked and complimented me on advice I had given someone in group therapy.  I'm not sure what to make of that.  Yesterday taught me that I go to an expert for a reason.  He has the degree, not me and not my friends and family.  I doubted myself in many areas of recovery until I spoke to Dr. V.    

I receive gifts daily -- not in a materialistic sense.  The best gift I received yesterday was an A+ from my Doctor.  I scored high in the arena of blogging and transparency.  I scored high in attending all support groups and therapy appointments.  I scored high in keeping in touch with my friend "S" and supporting one another.  I scored high in listening to myself and keeping boundaries.  I scored high in doing morning and evening "checkin's" with JT (another blog entry on that to come).  It feels good to receive a report card with high marks.  It feels good to love again.  It feels good to love me.  

Happy Friday